get inside my head...

the hardest thing…

o9tailedfox — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 06:09:43 +0000

…is probably going to be letting go. i don’t want to, because i’m selfish, but i know it’s necessary. *sigh*

i feel like i get attached WAY too easily…

FOOD!

o9tailedfox — Sun, 14 Jan 2007 23:56:20 +0000

FOOD FOOD FOOD!

i had a proper lunch today, and then i gorged myself during dinner, eating buffalo wings, breadsticks AND 2 slices of pizza…

now if only i could get a big mac, a large order of fries, waffles and a frap i would be content.

o9tailedfox — Sun, 14 Jan 2007 04:35:46 +0000

i feel like i’m wasting away because i haven’t had proper food since monday night. as i write this, i can’t help but think how whiny i sound and i feel guilty because there are still so many people in the world who go for their whole lives without a proper meal. i know it sounds so cliche to go on about how blessed i feel and…i don’t know. i can’t really put my thoughts into words…i guess what i’m trying to say is that i don’t want to sound smug by saying i’m grateful and blessed and blah blah blah, but i really am. ugh. i give up. i was never good at articulating my thoughts but this is just…shiteous.

anyway. hm. i have one more week left. i’m not ready to go back to school… >_<

sick…

o9tailedfox — Fri, 12 Jan 2007 06:59:13 +0000

AGAIN. go figure.

i hate how much i still like him, and how i can’t seem to express my feelings. i’m just incompetent i guess. *shrug*

liquid diet?

o9tailedfox — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 00:57:37 +0000

UPDATE: soggy cheerios are DISGUSTING, and make me want to puke.

my mother is insisting on keeping me on a liquid diet, which i am not enjoying at ALL…

throughout the course of the day, i’ve had :

1. a bottle of ensure

2. tomato soup

3. juice.

WTF??? is she TRYING to make me into a skeleton?? give me REAL food. i’m craving a big mac, for some reason. haha.

oh, and i’ve been trying to work on a website for our church’s youth group, but it’s turning out to be really frustrating and harder than i thought it would be…it doesn’t help that my html skills are REALLY rusty…:(

SAY NO TO ENSURE!!

Blehhh…

o9tailedfox — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 00:29:52 +0000

i’m SOOOO glad that getting your wisdom teeth removed is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. i couldn’t eat anything before the surgery, so on the car ride over to the dentist i kept feeling really nauseous. my mom and i sat in the waiting room for about 5 minutes until they called me in, and then my dentist gave me two shots of anesthetics (one in each arm). for some reason though, all i could think of was how i could never do speed or any other kind of drug that’s taken intravenously because although i’m almost 20, i’m still scared to death of needles. WHAT KIND OF NORMAL PERSON HAS THOUGHTS LIKE THAT??

so then they tell me to count to ten, and i’m pretty sure i reached to about two or three before i was completely knocked out. apparently the whole process only took about 40 minutes, and then they took me to our car in a wheelchair and had to wake me up so i could get in the car, but i don’t remember all this. i do remember coming home and trying to get out of the car by myself, which was a bad idea because my legs completely betrayed me and collapsed on me. traitors. luckily my dad was there to catch my fall and he helped me stagger and stumble my way to the nearest bed (it was worse than being pissed) and then i passed out for 5 hours. i woke up about an hour ago but i still feel really woozy and lightheaded; it’s like i’m kind of having an out-of-body experience. sometimes i really do think something’s wrong with me because all my friends said that i should be fine after about 5 hours, but i still feel pretty sick.

oh, and disappointingly enough, my cheeks aren’t even puffed up. yeah, i actually WANTED chipmunk cheeks. haha. -_- it just hurts a lot and feels like someone punched me in the jaw…

flashback…

o9tailedfox — Tue, 09 Jan 2007 01:51:12 +0000

i’m not really sure why i’ve set up this account…

it reminds me of xanga and high school, and how i started to become obsessed about comments and stuff…man, that crap was so stupid now that i think about it, but here i am again. hopefully i’m not setting myself up for the same situation, but i do think that this time around it’ll be better because i’ll primarily be using this as a tool to keep in touch with people, not as a means of measuring popularity. that’s what i’m telling myself, anyway.

sooooo…if you’re wondering why i referred you here, it’s so that if you’re needing your fix of crazy, you can come here and read about my thoughts/my mundane life/whatever’s on my mind at the time of posting. i know this doesn’t make up for one-on-one conversation, but i figure it’s better than the nothingness of last semester, so…

hope you enjoy, and hope i can update regularly!